5 First Date Do's and Don'ts for Girls and Guys
Guys and Girls,
First dates are hard, and blind dates are even harder. You want to be seen as sexy and confident. Being eager and nervous can sabotage your first impression. Here are a few tips for guys and girls on first dates.
1. Dress for success, dress to impress.
Put your best outfit on and make sure it is clean and in repair. Girls, it is okay to show a little skin, but not too much. Pick one part to expose and cover up the rest. Guys, do not wear sandals unless you absolutely have to.
Putting your best foot forward does not mean letting her see your toenails and hairy toes. Leave those parts that are not the best parts of you covered up. Pay particular attention to hygiene. Guys, clean your fingernails and do not let nose hairs stick out of your nose. A little manscaping is in order.
Girls, don't forget the perfume, wear your hair down if you can, and make sure your fingernails are done. When the attention you pay to your body shows, it sends the very desirable message that you take care of yourself in all ways. There is nothing sexier than that. If you have some problem areas, just keep them covered up.
2. Guys, pay for the date and girls, let him. Men like to provide, and any man interested in you would not dream of letting you pay. Girls, when you insist on paying, you send him two messages.
One is that you are not interested so you do not want to be obligated to see him again. The second message you send is that you will not let him provide for you.
When he does pay for the date, thank him twice; once after the meal or movie or event you attended, then thank him again at the door when you say goodnight. Do NOT send thank you emails, gifts or cards, or make a thank you phone call. Thanking him twice while on the date is enough.
Guys, if you are not prepared to pay for the date, do not go on it. You will ruin your chances of a future with this girl if you want her to pay for anything in the early stages of dating. Expecting her to pay sends her two messages. One is that you are not interested in providing for her, and the other is that a future with you will be one in which her needs are not met first and she is not taken care of.
This turns girls off because subconsciously girls need to pick a man who will provide for her and the children. You cannot argue with biology; this is just the way it is.
3. The conversation should center on current events, the exchange of general information, and flirting and jokes. Do not talk about your past relationships or the problems you have in your life. There will be time for that later.
Remember, you need to impress on these early dates, so keep a lid on the taboo topics and just don't go there. Girls, remember that guys will pry for information. They do this so they can find out your weak spots, conquer you and then move on.
Don't answer every question he asks; side step the ones that are too personal, answer his question with a question, and keep it simple. When he asks what happened to your last relationship, just say "it didn't work out" or "we wanted different things" and leave it at that. Do not give detailed explanations; change the subject. Remember to smile, laugh, joke and tease. Early dating can be so much fun when you remember why you are there in the first place. It is to have fun and learn more about this person, nothing more.
In particular, do not bring up or discuss topics that are serious like long-term love, how many kids you want, how you are dying to settle down, or how much you want to get married in a year. Do not talk about things like sexual preferences or how many booty calls you have in one week. Leave some things to the imagination.
Girls, do not ask questions about his money or his salary or he will think you are just looking for a husband and not paying attention to him in particular. Keep everything fun, simple and light-hearted.
4. Do not have sex on the first date. If you do not understand why this is a rule and not just a good idea, then google the topic and read the advice of the experts.
Sex is okay if you are certain you do not want a future with this person and you really just want sex, just know that having sex too early greatly decreases your odds of a long-lasting relationship, and there are lots of reasons why. Again, don't try to argue with biology. This is just the way it is. When you learn to date and wait you will experience this truth, which will make it easier to wait.
Try it and see what happens. Once you learn to wait for sex, you won't go back to being an easy early mark because your dates will be so successful. You will understand why waiting for sex is so rewarding and important.
5. Guys, if you would like another date, tell her so and ask her out at the end of this date. Girls, if you want another date, just tell him you had a great time with a smile and a kiss; he will get the message.
Do not call him. When you are saying goodnight, do NOT ask when he will call you or when you will see him again. Do not put him on the spot or make him feel pressured or uncomfortable. A man walks within his own time frame, not yours, so let him.
He has to feel that he wants you and misses you before it clicks that he needs to ask you out again to get to see you, so give him the space to want you and the time to come around your way. If you follow these tips for first dates, you will have a great time and you will be on that second date in no time! -- Kerry L. Gray, kerry@dontdatehimgirl.com
First dates are hard, and blind dates are even harder. You want to be seen as sexy and confident. Being eager and nervous can sabotage your first impression. Here are a few tips for guys and girls on first dates.
1. Dress for success, dress to impress.
Put your best outfit on and make sure it is clean and in repair. Girls, it is okay to show a little skin, but not too much. Pick one part to expose and cover up the rest. Guys, do not wear sandals unless you absolutely have to.
Putting your best foot forward does not mean letting her see your toenails and hairy toes. Leave those parts that are not the best parts of you covered up. Pay particular attention to hygiene. Guys, clean your fingernails and do not let nose hairs stick out of your nose. A little manscaping is in order.
Girls, don't forget the perfume, wear your hair down if you can, and make sure your fingernails are done. When the attention you pay to your body shows, it sends the very desirable message that you take care of yourself in all ways. There is nothing sexier than that. If you have some problem areas, just keep them covered up.
2. Guys, pay for the date and girls, let him. Men like to provide, and any man interested in you would not dream of letting you pay. Girls, when you insist on paying, you send him two messages.
One is that you are not interested so you do not want to be obligated to see him again. The second message you send is that you will not let him provide for you.
When he does pay for the date, thank him twice; once after the meal or movie or event you attended, then thank him again at the door when you say goodnight. Do NOT send thank you emails, gifts or cards, or make a thank you phone call. Thanking him twice while on the date is enough.
Guys, if you are not prepared to pay for the date, do not go on it. You will ruin your chances of a future with this girl if you want her to pay for anything in the early stages of dating. Expecting her to pay sends her two messages. One is that you are not interested in providing for her, and the other is that a future with you will be one in which her needs are not met first and she is not taken care of.
This turns girls off because subconsciously girls need to pick a man who will provide for her and the children. You cannot argue with biology; this is just the way it is.
3. The conversation should center on current events, the exchange of general information, and flirting and jokes. Do not talk about your past relationships or the problems you have in your life. There will be time for that later.
Remember, you need to impress on these early dates, so keep a lid on the taboo topics and just don't go there. Girls, remember that guys will pry for information. They do this so they can find out your weak spots, conquer you and then move on.
Don't answer every question he asks; side step the ones that are too personal, answer his question with a question, and keep it simple. When he asks what happened to your last relationship, just say "it didn't work out" or "we wanted different things" and leave it at that. Do not give detailed explanations; change the subject. Remember to smile, laugh, joke and tease. Early dating can be so much fun when you remember why you are there in the first place. It is to have fun and learn more about this person, nothing more.
In particular, do not bring up or discuss topics that are serious like long-term love, how many kids you want, how you are dying to settle down, or how much you want to get married in a year. Do not talk about things like sexual preferences or how many booty calls you have in one week. Leave some things to the imagination.
Girls, do not ask questions about his money or his salary or he will think you are just looking for a husband and not paying attention to him in particular. Keep everything fun, simple and light-hearted.
4. Do not have sex on the first date. If you do not understand why this is a rule and not just a good idea, then google the topic and read the advice of the experts.
Sex is okay if you are certain you do not want a future with this person and you really just want sex, just know that having sex too early greatly decreases your odds of a long-lasting relationship, and there are lots of reasons why. Again, don't try to argue with biology. This is just the way it is. When you learn to date and wait you will experience this truth, which will make it easier to wait.
Try it and see what happens. Once you learn to wait for sex, you won't go back to being an easy early mark because your dates will be so successful. You will understand why waiting for sex is so rewarding and important.
5. Guys, if you would like another date, tell her so and ask her out at the end of this date. Girls, if you want another date, just tell him you had a great time with a smile and a kiss; he will get the message.
Do not call him. When you are saying goodnight, do NOT ask when he will call you or when you will see him again. Do not put him on the spot or make him feel pressured or uncomfortable. A man walks within his own time frame, not yours, so let him.
He has to feel that he wants you and misses you before it clicks that he needs to ask you out again to get to see you, so give him the space to want you and the time to come around your way. If you follow these tips for first dates, you will have a great time and you will be on that second date in no time! -- Kerry L. Gray, kerry@dontdatehimgirl.com
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